It’s Not You, It’s Me (Another old poem)

I really wish you wouldn't do this, it's not for the best
For me, a conversation like this is a test
I'm not who you think I am, I'm just like the rest
So before we get any closer, I must confess
I am likely to hurt you, don't ask me how
It would be good if we hooked up, just not right now
As I am, right now, I'm not good for you
If you knew all the facts, you'd know this to be true
I could be called a womanizer, maybe even a dog
So I ask that you forget you saw me, don't even call
I'd rather not scar you with this knife of lust, lies, and deceit
The blade is already rusty from these before you who came across this cheat
So again, I say, "...walk away," It's not that hard a feat
Hold your head up young miss, wipe your cheek
Here's the key to your heart and remember keep your legs closed
Most dudes won't do this, they'll let you take off your clothes
I really do like you, but don't keep open your nose
It's not you, it's me; adios, c'est la vie

Sincerely, Aaron

So I Do It Again

So we did it again,
I knew I really shouldn’t but it felt good so I did it again.
Only 13 but I’m exposed to the weakness of men
And I loved it.
This sin.
And I loved her.
This girl.
So we did it again,
Even though she flirted with grown men.
Convenient amnesia -
The voice of common sense drowned out by moans.
“Shhhh! Don’t fuck up my zone!”

So I did it again.
But I had a different friend
Every night.
To me, they all looked the same.
Some call it game. Don’t know names.
Only 16, still hurt from 13: I’ll never be the same.
Still feel pain, until I did it again.
This happens to great men?
Don’t question now, here she comes – “Hey, how you doin?”
I’m still numb, did I want love?

So I do it again,
I know I really shouldn’t but “Fuck it” so I do it again.
Now I’m 19,
Tried some girlfriends, mission failed.
I’m much too fragile. Gotta force every smile.
Culture won’t allow for chivalry, not from a geek like me.
Men say, “Do it while you young.” I’m not having any fun.
Was I even in love once with someone other than Lust?
Was this ever about Us?
I’m sorry Love. I can never trust.
Again