So I Do It Again

So we did it again,
I knew I really shouldn’t but it felt good so I did it again.
Only 13 but I’m exposed to the weakness of men
And I loved it.
This sin.
And I loved her.
This girl.
So we did it again,
Even though she flirted with grown men.
Convenient amnesia -
The voice of common sense drowned out by moans.
“Shhhh! Don’t fuck up my zone!”

So I did it again.
But I had a different friend
Every night.
To me, they all looked the same.
Some call it game. Don’t know names.
Only 16, still hurt from 13: I’ll never be the same.
Still feel pain, until I did it again.
This happens to great men?
Don’t question now, here she comes – “Hey, how you doin?”
I’m still numb, did I want love?

So I do it again,
I know I really shouldn’t but “Fuck it” so I do it again.
Now I’m 19,
Tried some girlfriends, mission failed.
I’m much too fragile. Gotta force every smile.
Culture won’t allow for chivalry, not from a geek like me.
Men say, “Do it while you young.” I’m not having any fun.
Was I even in love once with someone other than Lust?
Was this ever about Us?
I’m sorry Love. I can never trust.
Again